iThink I Broke my heart
by lackofabettername
Summary: The night before Sam's 21st Birthday, sam says some mean things to freddie, and freddie takes it really hard. what can sam do to save her freindship. and is friendship all she sees in freddie? seddie - rated T for language and Alcohol use
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first ever shot at a fanfic, actually kinda my first shot at creative writting. I hope i did this all right.**

**this is only Chapter one, there is gonna be more. (there has to be, i couldn't just stop XD)**

**so anyway, please read and review. I hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own icarly, I don't claim to**

* * *

Sam heard the alarm ringing and covered her head with the comforter. She rolled her body back into a sea of blankets and stretched. She felt as though hiding under the covers would make the alarm turn off and the light cease to shine through the bay windows in her room. She breathed in the fresh scent of her bed sheets and sighed. She was having a really good dream

She sat up in bed and looked at her alarm. The four green digits blared back at her. 10:45. _Damnit Freddie, _she thought to herself. She rolled over to her bedside table and grabbed the used tissues from the night before. She tossed them into the dark blue trash bin next to her desk and sighed. Sam hated crying herself to sleep. Especially the night before her 21st Birthday.

She finally pulled herself out of bed. She grabbed her ripped and worn out blue jeans from the floor and pulled them on. She stood up and pulled them down extra low. She looked down at her miss matched socks and found her converse by her bedroom door. she walked up and slid them on and looked up at the mirror. Standing there in her ripped jeans and a lacy black sleep top, she smiled. She was 21 years old. She was in her new apartment, she had a great boyfriend, and two of the best friends in the world. She had a great job at TVS with her friends and most importantly, she was happy.

She looked back down at her feet, her left shoe had a large pink star sticker on it. _Hahah, oh FredDork. _Two weekends ago Sam had glued a sticker of a pink heart on his HD Camera. Freddie freaked out and told her he would "_deface one of her favorite things"_ so Freddie went after Sam's most prized and favorite pair of black converse. Sadly Sam liked the pink and black star sticker, making Freddie even more frustrated.

"_There is just no beating you Sam…"_

Sam closed her eyes. She didn't want to think about last night. Last night at a party with Freddie and Carly, Sam had had way too much to drink, and said some really mean things to Freddie.

"_It's really not a shock that Emy Cheated on you and then Dumped you, all you do is complain about your problems, I kinda see where she is coming from when she called you 'worthless'"_

Freddie didn't see the humor in that, and left. Later that night Sam had tried to call Freddie to apologize but he ignored her calls. She texted him over and over again until he responded at about 2 in the morning.

"_shouldn't you be calling someone less worthless?"_

Sam open her eyes and looked back in the mirror. Her Blue eyes glowed as she choked back the tears. She dug into her dresser and found a clean shirt and she pulled it over her head. She didn't need to bother showering. Once she got to "work" she could shower there, and then be told what to where by her wardrobe expert.

Sam, Freddie and Carly were offered a job at TVS after they graduated high school. They have been running a youth entertainment and news program together for the last 3 years. Once a week for an hour (40 minutes after commercials) they were have Studio 18 at their disposal, where they filmed iCarly Live. Sam and Carly on stage, Freddie calling the shots behind that cameras.

* * *

Sam took a running start jumped onto her super fluffy comforter and giggled to herself. Although she was turning 21 today, she was always going to be a kid. She reached to the bedside table to grab her phone when it rang. It was Carly.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" Carly shouted into her phone. Sam had to move the phone away from her head.

"Thanks Carls, how was the rest of your night?" Sam switched ears and started rubbing the recently blown out ear drum.

"It was alright….. not nearly as crazy as yours was. Do you remember anything?"

"I remember enough to hate myself right now…" Sam looked into her waste basket and saw all the used tissues.

"yeah...? you sick or something?"

"No, I mean about things I _said_ last night"

"ooooh… you mean what you said to Freddie?"

Sam just stood there with the phone in her hand. She swallowed hard as another wave of resentment kicked in. she looked down at her pink star toed shoes. And felt her eyes water over. Over the last 10 years of knowing Freddie, it had become harder and harder for Sam to be mean to him. Sam still picked on him non stop, but for some reason, unknown to Sam, she would feel bad about it. She walked over to her dresser and grabbed her cigarettes

"yeah….." Sam muttered, she took a breath of air and then kicked back into Sam mode. "whatever though, it's not like he's gonna fire me or anything."

"hahah" you could tell it was a fake laugh, you can always tell when Carly faked a laugh. "no, I'm sure he's over it by now."

"yeah... So are you heading into the studio today?" Sam asked moving the conversation along.

"I was planning on it. We really need to find something to write about. Especially since next week is our 100th network episode!"

"I totally forgot about that…." Sam looked down at her smokes as she lit one and took a drag. "we need to do something crazy, like dunk some Celeb with Orange juice or something."

"hahaha!" Carly laughed for real this time "that would be so perfect! I'll talk to Freddie about it. Unless you want to?"

sam took a long drag from her Cig and exhaled it slowly, she was only able to speak softly into the receiver. "I don't think Freddie is gonna wanna talk to me for a while…"

"Oh please, don't worry about it Sam, it's your birthday, and he _has_ to talk to you. If he doesn't wish you a happy birthday, then you can break his arm!" Carly could tell that Sam was really upset. But she heard a car horn beep from outside. "ooh, I gotta run Sam, Spencer is here, we're going to go to his new art exhibit! I'll talk to yah later!"

"alright… wish Spencer lu…" Sam was cut off

"Happy Birthday Sam!" you could hear Spencer leaning over and shoutign into the phone. "did she hear me? … DID YOU HEAR ME SAM?!?"

"hahaha, yeah I heard yah Spence. I'll talk to yah later Carls.

"see yah later today Sam! And have a great morning!" Sam closed her phone and threw it on her bed. She ran for the toilet and threw up all of last night into the porcelain bowl. "Fuck…."

* * *

After brushing her teeth and another Cig Sam walked back into her bedroom and pulled open the blinds. The sunlight poured into the room and the Seattle skyline glittered.

"Hello Seattle." Sam Grinned as her phone played the snip bit of the Owl City song. That meant a Text message… from Freddie.

Sam did another running Dive into her bed and bounced her phone off onto the floor. She sighed and rolled back out of the bed and picked it up. It was a text message from Freddie, so she opened her phone. She practically dropped it when she read what it said.

"_not going 2 b studio 2day. Happy bday."_

Sam scowled… _that little Prick_ she thought to herself, but then she remembered what had happened and she practically started crying. She sat back onto her bed and started typing out a text back to Freddie.

"_thanks. Listen about last night…."_ She sent the text and she stood up. She walked into her kitchen, and opened up the fridge. The first thing she saw was a bottle of beer. She chuckled. She had owned this apartment for damn near 2 years, and it always had beer, and she is just turning 21 today.

She used the handle on her cupboards to pup the beer cap off and went over to the standing bar where her Pearbook Pro was sitting open. She shook the trackpad and the screen saver disappeared to reveal her desktop. Her desktop image was of her, Carly, and Freddie at their first taping of 'iCarly'.

Sam laughed to herself. _Who knew that that girl and that dork would mean so much to me_. Fighting off the nastalgia her phone wrang out. _Hello seattle, I am a mountaineer._

"_w/e just forget about it… have a good one"_

this time she did drop the phone. The battery pack shot off the back and the light went out. Sam felt crushed. She managed to piss off half the people she trusted in a matter of one night. Sam felt sick to her guts and ran to the bathroom to throw up once again.

She walked back into the living room and grabbed the shattered phone. _Probably what I did to my friendship with Freddie_ she thought to herself. She put it back together and turned it back on. She sat down on her couch, which was actually spencer's old couch before he bought a new one. She grabbed a pillow and proceeded to hug it in the fetal position. She open her phone to text Carly, but her phone buzzed again.

"_Sam, Freddie isn't going to go to work today, do you want to meet me at the art show and just hang out till dinner?" _It was Carly, leave it to her to text with full words and grammar. It always made Sam laugh.

"_sure. C u in a few."_

_

* * *

_

**that's it for chapter 1. **

**what's gonna happen?! **

**haha R&R thanks for reading, chapter two coming soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry about the Delay with this. I got side tracked with school. :C.

anyways here is chapter two, I'm going to try to have chapter 3 up asap.

* * *

Sam stepped outside her apartment into the hallway and turned to lock her door. the deep green walls of the hall gave the apartments a very warming feel. Sam's apartment was one of the larger ones on the floor and her room was the farthest from the elevator. She started walking down the corridor When a small brown hair boy ran out of the apartment next to her, being chased by a young blonde girl.

"Alex, leave me alone!" the boy shouted. The younger girl grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him back into the apartment.

"alex stop! This is a brand new shirt!" the boy cried for help

"oh quit crying! You shoulda known better than to steal my food!" the blond girl dragged the boy back into her apartment and closed the door. you could hear a loud Thud and a shout muffled through the door.

Sam chuckled to herself. Aside from the Nastalgia and feelings of Déjà vu, she could only laugh. _Be careful_ she thought to the young girl. Picking on boys when you are young comes back to bite you. She had a sudden thought of Freddie but waved it off. Sam couldn't believe that that boy had gotten her out of bed at ten in the morning to cancel their studio work.

She continued down the hall. Behind her she could hear the younger boy run back into the hallway yelling and the younger girl laughing.

* * *

Sam drove out of the parking garage and into the busy traffic. She rolled down the windows of her Jet Black Chevy Cobalt and turned the music up. Tegan and sara filled her car and flooded out into the street "_I can't control…I feel you in my bones…"_ she stopped at a red light and waited. Sam sat there and stared off into the distance as the electro rock filled her car. She looked down at her phone and slid it open, she started to text Freddie.

"_I'm sorry… about last night, I really didn't…."_

she looked at the phone and shook her head, Sam didn't apologize. To anyone…

She drove for about 15 minutes and found herself in a very familiar part of town. Sam looked up to the sky to see Bushwell Plaza. She smiled and pulled off at the next side street to go visit the building. She pulled up to the meter, looked at it funny and then walked past it. She would just _love_ to see someone tow her car. She walked up the ramp and through the doors into the lobby.

* * *

"AHHHH! NOOOO!!! NOT YOU!!!!" Lewbert, the crazy doorman that worked at Bushwell plaza looked over the counter at Sam as she walked through the front door. "GEEEEET OUT!"

"who's gonna make me? You?" Sam laughed as lewbert's Wart infested face turned mad.

"AHHHH!!!" he turned and ran into the back room.

Sam laughed to herself and ran up the stairs. She missed messing with Lewbert after school. As she reached the right floor she was nearly sprinting. She ran up to Spencer's door and slammed on it.

"Spencer! Let me in!" she pounded and pounded and then stopped. _Of course. Spencer is gone_ she thought to herself. She pulled a hairpin out of her back pocket and opened the front door. the living room was dark but looked the exact same as it always had, except for the lack of a plastic bottle robot and a new couch. Sam closed the front door behind her and made her way to the stairs.

Out in the hallway, the door across from Spencer's opened and Freddie left the apartment.

"I'll be back later next week mom! It as good catching up with you!" Freddie closed the door and walked down the hall.

Sam felt a wave of emotions hit her like a wall. She was standing back in the old icarly studio, the room was now filled with boxes, a few of Spencer's _not as famous_ sculptures and the old car. Sam looked around the room over and over again smiling. She made her way to the hood of the car and laid down on top of it. She leaned back and closed her eyes. Like it was yesterday she was back in the old iCarly studio filming…

* * *

-=-=-=Flashback=-=-=-

…

"oh thank you oh you're too kind" Carly bowed to the camera

"oh please, no thank you" Sam held the blue applause remote above her head. The girls had just finished showing off a new "terrible movie" to their internet viewers.

"okay, well that wraps up icarly for tonight so…" Carly is cut of by Sam

"uhm… wait… just one more little thing" Sam holds up her finger and stops Carly unexpectedly.

"what?" Carly asks with her 'webshow host' persona

"you guys all know our technical producer Freddie? Show yourself to the people Freddie" Sam motions to Freddie as he turns the camera on himself.

"hello..?" Freddie looks into the camera confused.

"that was Freddie," Sam continued on. "Who last week handcuffed me to a nerd…" Carly looked up into the camera with a worried look… "So now, guess what…" Sam put her face right up into the camera "Freddie's never kissed a girl. NEVER, not once."

Freddie's Jaw droped and he turned pale.

"I heard him say so myself, and Carly's a whiteness" Carly's eyes grew very wide as Sam stepped back from the camera. After pausing for a minute sam smiles "okay… later!" and walks out of the room.

"Sam, Sam!, you just ruined Freddie's life!" Carly left the room chasing after Sam as Freddie, still awestruck dropped his camera onto the floor.

-=-=-=-=-=-=

* * *

Sam shook out of it. She felt like she was gonna be sick again. Her cell phone rang out, she looked down at the phone and saw Carly's name scroll across the screen. She picked it up.

"Sam! Where are you?! Are you okay?" Carly sounded freaked over the phone. Sam laughed to herself, it's always the same. Carly needed to take care of Sam.

"I'll be there in a sec Carls," Sam rolled her eyes and sat up on the hood of the car. "I just got stuck in traffic." Sam jumped up from the hood of the car and walked out of the room.

* * *

"This is Boring! I don't wanna be an artist today!" Spencer was looking down at his little sister who was laughing.

"Spencer, you have to be an artist today," Carly tried to reason with the grown adult

"You're my little sister I don't _have _to listen to a wor…" Spencer saw carly getting mad so he stopped. In a low voice he muttered "I'm sorry, you're right, I'm an artist." Carly laughed.

Sam walked into the modern art exhibit about half way through Spencer's Showing.

* * *

What happens at the art museum? you'll find out in chapter three! soon! R&R please! I hope you enjoy!


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